To Gram Or Not to Gram On Your Wedding Day? That Is The Question

Photo: Courtesy of Candy Shop Vintage

I am six months away from my wedding and like most brides-to-be at this juncture, I’m starting to make some real decisions that will determine the tone of my big day. The one thing I find myself practically fixated on, however, is what the social media policy should be. To ‘gram or to not ‘gram?—appears to be my main question.

As I ponder this murky, millennial etiquette conundrum, I must be forthright: I love social media and actually do it for a living—meaning Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and Pinterest are actually a big part of my day, every day. I’m also, what you may call, an over-sharer. Instagram is my addiction of choice; I constantly post travel imagery, IG Stories about my six-month-old niece doing absolutely nothing, and yes, I’ve been guilty of the occasional wedding guest gram. 

Indeed, these days, social media has become an inevitable part of the wedding planning process. I’ve scouted venues via geo-tags, I’ve created mood boards on Pinterest. Take one look at my recently saved images on IG and you’ll see florals, dresses, and even gift ideas for my bridesmaids. Like many of my peers, I have also found myself knee deep in a random wedding hashtag when the bride’s taste aligns with my own.

But there is a new trend in social media that has left me unsettled. Call me old fashioned, but I am less than enthused by the rise of real-time wedding coverage via Instagram Stories.

Case in point: Just last season, I watched a bride broadcast her big day on Instagram Stories just moments before walking down the aisle. I felt like I was an intruder when she gave me access to those few seconds right before she said, “I do.” Days later, I couldn’t shake it. I kept wondering why she had taken those few precious hours that only happen once in a lifetime and showcased them to her followers. It meant I was privy to what her dress looked like even before her fiancé, and it really felt like all of this oversharing had suddenly gone too far.

Ultimately, her wedding, her choice. But, I do think a more reasonable alternative would be to hire a videographer, or if that’s out of your budget, have a close friend on hand to capture those raw moments that only you and your fiancé would remember otherwise. It will free you up to be fully present in the moment and to stop focusing on ultimately silly things like filters and witty captions.

For my own wedding, I’ll admit, we already have a hashtag planned. We may even start using it as early as my bridal shower. But, regardless of my affinity for social media—both personally and professionally—I firmly believe there’s a distinct line between sharing memories and practically live-streaming your wedding for the entire world to see. For that reason, we’ll be asking our friends and family to put their phones away during the ceremony. As for me? My phone will be out of sight, and out of mind. #NoFilter

—Jordyn Shaffer