This year, many couples have had to postpone their wedding plans at least once because of COVID-19, and it was new territory for everyone. What we’ve heard from many OTM brides who’ve had micro-weddings is that the support of their guests was reassuring and inspired. But what do you send in a note to a couple who has postponed? Or if you just got engaged, what’s the etiquette around contacting your future family? We reached out to Marcie Pantzer, founder of one of our favorite luxury stationery and home brands Dear Annabelle, to get some expert advice on writing to those who may need a little more cheering up this season.
How can one write a genuine note of support to a couple that has had to postpone their wedding?
“We all know people who have had to do this recently, and it’s heartbreaking for everyone. A thoughtful note can mean the world in a moment like this, when the couple certainly feels isolated from the people they love.”
“It can be short and sweet—just let them know you’re thinking of them and that you’re excited to celebrate with them when the time is right. If you’re really close to the couple, you could offer to throw them an intimate party to celebrate in the meantime or offer to help them with the logistics of postponing and re-planning the wedding. It’s a lot of work to plan a wedding once, let alone twice!”
What are the most important notes to write when one gets engaged?
“While there are no obligatory notes to send out at the engagement stage, this can be a really fun moment to celebrate the people in your inner circle who support you as a couple. I think it’s incredibly sweet to write a note to your future in-laws, expressing how thankful you are for the human they created and for their generosity and love—likewise for a future sister- or brother-in-law.”
“Another adorable gesture is sending a hand-written note to the person who set you and your partner up—after all, they literally changed your life! Notes asking your closest friends and relatives to be your bridesmaids or groomsmen are also a great idea—they’ll be cherished for years to come. And it’s always nice to send a note to whoever will marry you—pastor, rabbi, or favorite uncle. The point is, people love to feel like a part of your love, and a handwritten letter is a really thoughtful way to show them that they are.”
What are some of the notes you’ve been writing lately?
“I have been writing loads of ‘just because’ notes lately. Discovering something in your mailbox that isn’t a bill or junk mail is such a pleasure, especially when you aren’t expecting it.”
“I’ve been writing to friends in other cities, childhood friends, college friends, my grandmother. I’ve also made a more concerted effort to be more thoughtful in sending notes in advance of birthdays and other special occasions. At the beginning of each month, I take a moment to think through the important celebrations that are happening that month, which makes it easier to keep track of everything.”
Where is your favorite place to write to loved ones?
“This might sound weird, but I often write notes from bed! I feel relaxed and cozy, and totally myself. My signature style is a very short note–two or three meaningful sentences, usually with a dose of humor. Because I’m not writing novel-length letters, it’s just as easy to write them propped up on a pillow as sitting at a desk.”
We love your naughty notecards, especially when the world seems so serious, how did that set come about?
“My hope for Dear Annabelle was that it would be chic and sophisticated, but with some wit and wildness mixed in. I must admit that I have a bit of a potty mouth, so the expressions on the Naughty Notecards are things that could easily escape my lips. Whenever I send one to a friend, they never fail to comment on what a kick they got out of it, mostly because of the surprise factor. I like to make things that feel a little unexpected— maybe even a little crass?—and then pairing it with our elegant gold engraving.”
