You hear enough about what you should do at your wedding. The litany isn’t anything new: save the dates, cake cutting, getaway car—and the list goes on. So, let’s make things interesting. What shouldn’t you do?
We turned to our personal rolodex of the best of the best in the wedding industry, the Over The Moon Directory. Thoughtfully curated by Over The Moon’s wedding experts, this list is the go-to resource for every person getting ready to take the plunge. It’s filled with all of the vendors in different categories you need to know.
We asked a handful of our Directory planners to share the things they would never do at their own weddings, if they were headed down the aisle in 2025. Whether your follow these axioms or take inspiration here and there, the choice is yours. It’s your wedding!
1. Create A Huge Guest List Filled With Everybody You’ve Ever Met—And Some You Haven’t!
In The Great Gatsby, Jordan Baker says she likes a large party filled with strangers—but not our Over The Moon planners, and not when it comes to their weddings. Most of our planners said they would do everything in their power to limit their guest list. “I’d cap it at a manageable size—150-200—to ensure meaningful connections and prioritize quality over quantity,” planner Amrit Dhillon-Bains of Anaïs Events says.
Planner Lynn Easton of Easton Events agrees. “It’s so easy to get swept up in your parents’ must-invite list or feel like you need to throw the party of the year, but your wedding should feel like a room full of your favorites, not your mom’s friend’s cousin’s plus-one! If you’re dreaming of something intimate, don’t ignore that instinct.”
Plenty of our planners warned against inviting “fringe friends” like co-workers and other people you may not be very excited about including in your special day. Regardless of who you choose to include, 80% seems to be the new golden standard for RSVP yield in the industry today; send out your save the dates very, very wisely.
2. Minimize The Importance of Choosing The Right Vendors
Easton says, “After the last dance, the grand exit, and the after-after party, all you really have left are the memories. And between the adrenaline—and the signature cocktails!—it’s surprisingly easy to lose track of the little moments that made your day extraordinary, which is why I’d never skip hiring a top-tier photo and video team. The right creatives allow you to be fully present in the moment, while they quietly capture every blink-and-you’ll-miss-it bit of magic.”
Dhillon-Bains brings up an excellent point: “A skilled photographer, with their eye for light and instinct for emotion, turns fleeting seconds into heirlooms. They’re not just a vendor; they’re your timekeeper, your storyteller, your bridge to reliving the day forever.”
If you’re in search of a worthy photographer, look no further than our Directory for recommendations.
Meanwhile, for planner Bryan Rafanelli or Rafanelli Events, the venue is key. “The location is the first chapter—it sets the tone before a single flower is placed or a guest arrives. For me, it needs to have presence. History. Architecture. Meaning. I’d never choose a space just because it’s impressive—it would have to hold personal significance, whether that’s tied to memory, emotion, or connection. I’d rather begin with something evocative and do less, beautifully, than over-design a setting with no soul. I don’t believe in designing over the venue—I believe in designing with it.”
3. DIY Everything
You don’t have to plan your wedding all by yourself, and you certainly shouldn’t do it all yourself either. Top planners bemoan the trap of DIY culture. Sometimes, you think you’re saving time, but you may end up making more problems for yourself instead. Planner Layne Povey of Lynden Lane Co. specifically flags the Champagne tower as a DIY culprit. “It is actually much more difficult than you think to execute, and the wrong glass rim can result in a failed outcome,” she advises. No thank you!
4. Invest in One Wedding Look
Everybody talks about finding “the dress,” but what if there were a way to alleviate that pressure? Planner Lauryn Prattes of Lauryn Prattes Events has thought about this already. “I’d work with a stylist to curate a full weekend wardrobe that truly reflects my style and makes every moment feel special.” There could be no better resource than Over The Moon’s styling services for this very need.
5. Sacrifice Guest Comfort
While the couple is certainly the guests of honor, in some ways, they’re also the hosts. They set the tone of what their wedding will be for their nearest and dearest. (Unless you invite everyone you know—see item #1 on this list!) Cutting corners can sometimes cut down on your guests experience. “Things like valet, heaters, or fans should always be prioritized,” Povey mentions.
6. Under-Communicate With Guests
So much of wedding planning is delegating and explaining, as our top planners know. For any wedding they plan, they all tell couples to help their guests with things like attire. “Some think that giving a color palette or mood board for attire is giving too much direction, but your guests want the guidance and appreciate the jumping off point,” Povey says. This extends to “free time” during wedding weekends. Especially for destination events, give your guests itineraries or suggestions for things to do in town.
7. Be Influenced By Wedding Trends
Brides, beware the allure of the latest TikTok wedding craze. Cautiously engage with your Pinterest boards. Don’t fall victim to your own algorithm. “Trying to match what you see on social media just leads to disappointment,” Povey asserts.
“What feels so ‘right now’ might not feel like you down the road,” Easton adds. “I believe the most memorable celebrations are those rooted in timeless design—layered with texture, tone, and meaning.”
From debuting as a married couple with your first joint Instagram post to publishing your feature in Over The Moon, it has never been easier to share each other’s weddings with the world. While planners encourage you to reference other weddings for inspiration, they don’t recommend using anyone else’s wedding as your North Star.
8. Underestimate The Number of Bars at The Reception
“Nothing kills the post-ceremony vibe like a bar line that wraps around the tent,” Easton says. “A well-placed, well-staffed bar—or two!—keeps the energy flowing and your guests feeling genuinely cared for. Hospitality is in the details—and this one makes all the difference.”
So, here’s Easton’s rule of thumb. She would get a bar for every 75 or so guests to keep spirits of all kind high during your reception.
9. Treat a Wedding Timeline Like a To Do List
It may seem counterintuitive, but our top planners wouldn’t have every millisecond of their wedding planned. “I’d never follow a timeline that treats the event like a series of tasks to get through,” Rafanelli says. “I believe in experiences that unfold, not ones that are scheduled to death. The night should move with intention—not pressure. There should be space to connect, to surprise, to breathe.”
10. Discover Details Like Florals, Food, Etc. For The First Time at The Wedding
Planner Marcy Blum would never plan an event without seeing samples of everything for herself. She wouldn’t want the wedding to be the first time she saw her floral arrangements or ate the food. All of those things would have been done well in advance, and no small detail would be overlooked. She would even make sure the band knew what to wear!
11. Have Speeches at The Reception
Planning duo–and married couple–Mylene and Geoffrey of White Eden Weddings would steer clear of passing a mic around at the reception. “Only a two-minute thank you speech from the bride and groom, but no other speeches! We would keep them for a rehearsal dinner in a more intimate setting.” Honestly, the couple would rather prioritize their guests’ experience than follow this tradition.
For them, speeches tend to drag the reception and slow down the night’s energy. And don’t even get them started on the possibility of someone commandeering the mic–and everyone’s time–for a lengthy, rambling monologue.
12. Host a Day-After Event
“We would not host a day-after event,” Mylene and Geoffrey admit. “We would instead host several events the days leading to the wedding.” Their dream wedding weekend itinerary would be a welcome event the first evening when everyone is in town, followed by a pool party or a beach day.
The day-after brunch can be tough for guests to attend after (hopefully) partying all night at your reception. Some guests may even need to travel back and recuperate from your wedding; they may skip this event altogether. The last thing someone with a hangover wants is a mimosa and jilted conversation with the groom’s second cousin twice-removed at brunch.
13. Plan Lengthy Outfit Changes
Imagine planning this beautiful once-in-a-lifetime event and not getting to relish every possible moment. Some of our planners have watched this happen firsthand.
“As a bride, I would not plan for a change of looks that take forever,” Mylene divulges. “We’ve seen too many brides miss a good part of their dinner because they wanted a different look for the cake cutting. I love a consistent plan for my fashion, and we often recommend to our brides to have two to three looks on their wedding day, but recommend a 15-minute change at the longest and quick make up touch ups instead of full transformation to avoid missing these precious moments.”
14. Have Family-Style Dinner at the Reception
“You want a gentleman in a Tom Ford Tuxedo to pass the proteins?” Planner Tory Smith of Smith + James mentions. Family-style dinner service may not bode well when you’ve asked your guests to show up to your wedding in black tie. Keep it in mind, even your dinner should complement the tone of the wedding.
15. Release Live Creatures
And lastly, one of our planners swooped in with a final piece of advice for brides. “Never release butterflies or critters of any kind. This may sound romantic, but it’s awkward and rarely has the impact you are looking for,” Povey warns. This includes your doves, your bugs, anything that breathes.
